Reasons why moving sucks.

1. Packing = Cleaning = Dust = Dust mite allergy overload. I’ve been sneezing so hard that I may have peed a little. Yeah, that happened.

2. Living in one place with other people for more than a year means you forget what’s yours and where everything is. I swear I had ice cube trays at one point…

3. Eventually you get to the point where you’re living out of boxes. This assumes that at one point you unpacked when you moved in.

4. You get to the point where you realize that you have too much crap and try to downsize, but honestly, I need the ENTIRE BOX of mugs. No really. What if I just stop doing dishes some day? Those 20 mugs will come in handy. And 2 china sets? What if entertain more than 12 people? It will happen. Everyone bring a chair and we’ll be good to go.

5. Once you “downsize” you realize that you want new stuff. New desk? New dinning room chairs? New shelving units? New jeans? New hair? I need it all. My credit card will understand.

6. Then you reach the point in which you need more boxes. Let’s not talk about that.

7. Then your eye starts twitching all the time from the stress of it all. Those cute little to-do lists now haunt you in your sleep.

8. You have a nightmare about driving the wrong direction across the USA! Granted I would love to visit Skinny Runner or Blonde Ponytail, but that’s not where my apartment is.

9. Your dog starts showing signs of stress. Pooping on the carpet is never okay! Seriously G? I’m going to have to charge you rent if this is how it’s going down.

10. Finally your friends all start calling because they finally realize that you are actually moving. Too bad numbers 1-9 are causing you to never leave the house. There’s just so much going on!

Moving is one thing, I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again. But moving across the country after putting roots down for 4 years? Never again. I’m going to start developing other nerves ticks. I’m about ready to hire a personal assistant. Anybody up for applying?